作者词汇表达较为熟练,学术词汇使用不是很多;全文结构较为严谨;适当增加一些从句的使用,会为文章添彩;请注意分段。
My Dream Although I'm a jewellery salesman now.but I have a dream.that's to become a teacher.because the teacher can impart knowledge and affect the students. A good teacher is related to the child's future or even a life time. When children grow up to be the backbone of the country is like see the saplings grow into towering trees as the excitement and joy. At that time I will be proud to realize their own value. I will strive to become a good teacher, and find the best in each child, love all the children, let them become a good person, diligence, Thanksgiving, it takes a strong man, a confident person, polite person. Although this dream some distant, perhaps in a few years later, maybe after ten years, but I have been efforts to dream In addition, I have a dream that is throughout all the world, I also in hard for this dream. Come on