希望作者可以加强词汇表达多样性,尤其是高级词汇的积累;简单句偏多,可适当增加从句和长难句使用;上下文衔接不流畅,文章结构不严谨。
My Dream What do I want to do when I get older? Someone wants to be a doctor.Someone wants to be a basketball player,because they are good at sport.Someone wants to be a writer because they like writing.Someone wants to be a teacher because they like teaching. I like playing the piano because I am good at playing the piano.I want to become a pianist.Playing the piano is a very interesting thing.You can learn something from music.Piano can makes you fall in love with music.A lot of musicians and singers love playing piano. I started playing the piano when I'm ten years old.Now I'm in grand five.I hope that when I'm sixteen years old , I can become grand eight.I'll practice as much as i can. Becoming a pianist is not easy.But I believe that I can do it.