语句间的衔接成分用的不错,同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富;有效地采用了一些简单的从句为文章增色;拼写很棒,可适当增加学术词汇的使用。
What kind of life do you prefer,city life or country life? Some people like to live in the city,because life there is convenient,compared with the country,they have better education,better medical care,and more employment opportunities. However with the development of industry the environment in the city is becoming worse and worse,the air quality in the city is horrendous,exhaust fumes from Vehicles cause a great deal of damage to the environment,on top of that,there are more and more large chemical factories in the city which are contributing to the high pollution levels in the water and the air,living in a polluted city like this will be bad for our health and just as my last daily record said I don't feel any sense of belonging big city In comparison to the city,the condition of the country is obviously different,it's peace and quiet,even though they don't have the modern convenience offered by the city,but it's pleasant to live with green mountains,blue sky,green trees and red sunsets,that's the reason I like to live in the country. At last I would like to appeal for everyone pays more attention to the environment while we are delevoping industry,Meanwhile we shouldn't forget to develop the country.If so the gap between city and country will getting more and more small,that people will enjoy both modern and peaceful lives!I think if everyone pitches in,the world will be a better place