句式变化不明显,另外要多多加强从句在文中的比例;文中用词稍显贫乏,同时请注意单词拼写的检查;没有能够有效地使用连接词和过渡词。
Sam got up at six O'clock yesterday, then he went to park by bicycle. He got a lot of fun in the park. in the noon, Sam had lunch with his father in McDonald's. In the afternoon, Sam plaied basketall at shcool with classmate from four PM till six PM. Sam went for a walk with his father after dinner, his father bought a CD for him. How wonderful day it is for Sam.