语句间的衔接成分用的不错,同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富;请注意词汇表达的多样性及拼写错误,尤其加强高级词汇的使用;采用了一些简单的从句。
i like playing football best.i love football by chance that i picked it up on my way home and then i play it with my friends .in future ,i deeply love to play it .after class,not only do i always train with my classmates,but also i often organizate competition.i think everyone who like playing football,has they own ideal.beckham who is my favorite football star,was from england.i wish one day i will be a prefessional football player like him