文中词汇表达多样性不足,在高级词汇方面尤其要多积累;若加强一些复杂句和从句的使用,文章会更棒;可适当增加连接词和衔接词的使用。
Tom is a very disciplined person. Everyday he got up at six o'clock. After that he got to school by bus at 6:15 am. He never eats outside because foods aren't clean outside. He is dedicated to study. So he never listens to music and watches TV on school days. What's more,he requires himself back home by 12:00 in the morning and by 9:20 in the evening.