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词汇表达不够丰富，要增加高级词汇的使用；若加强一些复杂句和从句的使用，文章会更棒；不能熟练使用过渡词，文章结构不严谨；
Sam got up at six o'clock yesterday. Then he went to the park by cycle, he had very fun on the park. He and his parents had lunch at McDonald's at noon. In the afternoon Sam and his classmates played basketball in the school, from four to six p.m.. After dinner, Sam and his father went for a walk, his father bought a piece of classical music CD. What a fun day Sam had!
