作者要注意增加使用学术词汇,单词拼写做的挺好;作者句法知识扎实,但文中从句数量稍显不足;衔接成分太少,文章结构欠佳。
My trip to Hainan island Once upon a day, I stood in Guangzhou railway station alone, and bought a ticket for going to Haikou, then I have my unforgettable journey on Hainan island for two weeks in January. On the train, I met many people who lived on Hainan island, we talked a lot of things about Hainan. I came to Haikou at twenty-one o’clock, when I got off the train, I feel the atmosphere are clean and cool, it makes me feel more comfortable and relaxed. The first night in Haikou, I lived in a cafe and Sleep on the sofa, and I met two new friends, they are like traveling very much too. After introducing for each other, we have a great dinner with seafood, and then we climbed the fence of the Hot springs in the community, and had a bath. It’s a special experience, and it's impressive. Next day, we wake up lately and have lunch in a restaurant near the harbor, then, we walked along the seaside, swimming in the sea, and enjoying the sunshine on the beach. In Haikou city, Lots of people from different part of China came here on vacation, especially people lived in the north China. In the evening, we all stay in the coffee shop and worked as a waiter. We have been working into the midnight and sleep well on the sofa. Next morning, we Left the coffee shop early, and went to the Highway to catch a car by luck. And we finally got it. The driver is a business man. He drove us from Haikou to Xinglong. We chatted a lot of things. Such as our daily life, sports, traveling, political and so on. We all have fun with each other. Gotten off the car, we walked along the national road. With the sunset, we put up our tents on the side of the road, we talked late into the night and sleep together in one tent. In the next few days, we have set our tents on the beach at Qingshui Bay. The sea was clean and the sky was blue. During the day, we take photos, collect shells, fly a kite, swim in the sea, enjoy the sunshine and we did all what we want. In the evening, we caught the crabs for our dinner, and cooked by ourselves. It’s very interesting. We fall asleep with the sound of the sea and the light of the stars. I can’t forget that feeling forever. In Sanya, we lived in a youth hotel, there are many travelers, we shared our feelings and experiences with each other, cooked and have dinner together. We have played many games on that day, and became good friends. I like that kind of atmosphere very much. And finally, I stood in Haikou airport alone, and bought a ticket for going to Guangzhou, then I accomplished my unforgettable journey on Hainan island. I can’t forget this trip, because it gives me a lot of joy, knowledge and a good memory, and it gives me an opportunity to make friends with people from different part in China. I suppose I have fallen in love with them, and I will cherish this experience forever. I do believe I will be back in the near future.