文中单词拼写做的很棒,再多积累些词汇就更好了;作者句法知识很棒,适当增加从句的使用,会取得更不错的成绩;文章上下文衔接自然;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
Palying football is one of the favourite bobbies in my heart.By chance,I fell in love with football.on a usual day I picked up a football.On my way home,and my friends and me began to play it,and from then I began to love playing football.Since then I frequently play football with my friends and we were training together. The favourite football player in my deep heart is Bick.I always look forward to being a professional football player like Bick in the future,and I will be training harder from now to come true my dream.