建议作者增加过程性词汇的使用;句式灵活多变,再加强从句的使用会更棒;文章用词太过单一,本文单词拼写错误较多。
I am sam ,on yesterday,igo up on 6,then i by bike go to park i very happy on lanch i in mcdonalds eat lunch with my parent affterent i and my ferind paly basketbal on schooh after dinner sam and his farther go for a waljk ,,farther give sam a cd tis day i have a good trip