文中词汇表达不够丰富,高级词汇方面要多累积;文章采用了适当的过渡词和衔接词,结构比较严谨;若增加一些长难句的使用,文章会更好。
Dear all, My first name is Lucy ,last name is King.I am 13-year-old girl who are come from UK.My mother language is Englisn,and I have many different hobbits.such as sports,music,movies.Now,I want to make a Chinese friend who have the same as hobie with me.in addition to this,I also willing to learn Chinese to her.