文中词汇表达不够丰富,同时请仔细检查词汇的拼写;上下文衔接欠佳,文章层次欠清晰,建议加强连接词和衔接词的积累;使用了个别复杂句,但文中错误句子较多。
.yesteday sam get on at six o`clock .then by bike to park ,he is very happy. In noon,he with his mam and his father in McDonald`s eat luner .he with famer play baskball.from at 4 o`clock till 6 o`clock .after dinner,sam with his father go foe a walk,his father buy a CD for he . what a happy day .