如若适当增加一些从句的使用,文章会取得更好的成绩;文中用词稍显贫乏;采用了简单的衔接手法,行文流畅。
My ideal I wanted to be a professional soccer athlete when I was a kid. My idol was Ronaldo. He was the best forward in the world, I wanted to be a soccer player like him. I work hard every day to train soccer skills, but the reality is cruel, I am always a soccer amateur. After I grew up, I am still play soccer once a week. I will always insist, because to be a soccer player is always my ideal.