文中从句数量不足;文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;上下文衔接稍显不流畅。
yesterday,Sam got up at six o'clock,then he rides bike to park,and he plays very happy in park.Noon he has lunch with his parents in Mcdonald's.In the afternoon,Sam and his schoolmate playing basketball in school,they are four o'clock to six o'clock with playing basketball all time.After dinner,Sam go for a walk with his father, his father bought a classical music CD,the day Sam is so funny.