文中词汇丰富度要提高,也能较好的使用高级词汇;从句使用量不足;文中很少出现过渡词和衔接词。
Sam got up at six o'lock,yesterday morning.after that,he rode a bike went to park,he had great fun playing in the park.At noon,he had lunch with his parents in the McDonald’s.In the afternoon,Sam from four to six played basketball with his classmates,it was relaxing.After dinner,Sam went for a walk with his father,Sam's father bought a classical CD for him, he was very happy becaus he enjoys music very much.what a fun day Sam had!