若加强一些复杂句和从句的使用,文章会更棒;作者词汇量偏小,另外文章有些单词拼写错误;过渡词和衔接词使用不恰当,缺少组织,可适当增加连接词的使用;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开;可以适当增加副词的使用。
Sam get up at six,clock yesterday morning, then he went to park read bicycle, he has a good time. he with his mather and father ate lunch in McDonald yesterday noon. Sam and his friend played ball in zhe school. Sam with his father went for a walk when them have had dinner, and his father bought a CD for him. Today is so fun to Sam!