句式变化多样,句法方面做的很棒;文中词汇表达灵活多样,也能较丰富地使用高级词汇;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用。
With the development of economy and society, an increasing number of people use Internet. There is little doubt that the Internet play an important role in our daily life. As a result, more and more people spend more and more time in the virtual world instead of interacting in the real word. I think it has exerted a negative imapct on people to spend more time in the virtual world. The reasons for my recommendation are follows. To begin with, people can't live in virtual world. We must eat, sleep, and go to school in the real world. For example, even if we are the king of a online game, we also must return the real world. Furthermore, if we spend more time in virtual world, we have less time to comunicate with parents, friends and classmates. It will exert a bad impact on relationship with them. All in all, I can use virtual world to enjoy ourselves, but we shouldn't spend much time in virtual world.
人气:78发布:2017-05-01
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人气:50发布:2014-08-14