单词拼写做的很好,请注意积累词汇量;句子错误偏多,建议修改;行文流畅,但衔接词比较少;连词使用偏少;请注意分段;可以适当增加副词的使用。
this is Tom rules ,Tom get up at 6:00 everyday ,finish all work ,he go to school at 6:15 ,he doesn't eat outside ,he think eat outside is very insanitation ,and he is a good student ,he doesn't listen to music on school days ,doesn't watch TV on school night , everyday he back home by 12:00 in the morning and by 9:20 in the evening .