从句不足,简单句比重高;文中用词稍显贫乏,单词拼写还要加强;结构不严谨,行文不流畅;请注意分段;连词使用偏少;可以适当增加副词的使用。
Yesterday Sam got up at 6am .Then he rade a bike went to the park, he was very happy playing the park. He with his parents had lunch in the McDonald's. He played basketball with his classmates in the afternoon from 4pm to 6pm. After dinner ,he went to a walk with his Dad. Father give his a CD. Sam had a funny day.