文中单词拼写做的很棒,再多积累些词汇就更好了;句法知识很棒,若增加一些从句的使用,文章会更出色;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
Sam had an interesting day yesterday.Sam got up at six o'clock in yesterday morning.And then,he rode a bike,a cool bike to the park,and he enjoyed himself for long time in the park.At noon,he went to McDonald’s who with his parents for lunch.He played basketball with his friends when he had eaten lunch from four till six.Sam went for a walk with his parents when he was after dinner.The classical CD was bought by Sam 's father.What a fun day Sam had!