采用了恰当的衔接手法,层次清晰;文中有几处句子错误;文中词汇表达较丰富恰当,但学术词汇稍显不足。
how time flies,i have been in Shenzhen for almost 10years,i can still remember the day when i came here.i was so young but i was hopeful and imaginative about my future Although it was not suitable for young us to end school life and enter society,I spend a very happy time of the begging of my working life.as most of my classmates were recommended to the same company. After half a year,most of my classmates gradually left that company and to seek more suitable job,now ten years past,we still keep in touch.some of the classmates have settled down here,some have gone back to hometown. For me,the hustle and bustle is really difficult to handle,but i still can't adjust to the fast pace of city life,i work extremely hard and try one best to adapt to the lifestyle here,but i don't feel any sense of belonging here,Perhaps it's time to stop floating and go back to where i belong,maybe i'll feel much better with my family around