语句间的衔接成分用的不错,同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富;运用了丰富的复杂句;单词拼写很棒,可考虑增加学术词汇的使用量;请注意分段。
how time flies,i have been in Shenzhen for almost 10years,i can still remember the day when i came here.I was so young but I was hopeful and imaginative about my future Although It was difficult for young us to end school life to enter society,I spent a very happy time at the begging of my working life.As most of my classmates were recommended to the same company.we could help and encourage each other when someone run into problems After half a year,most of my classmates gradually left that company and to seek more suitable job,now ten years past,we still keep in touch.Some of the classmates have settled down here,some have gone back to hometown. For me,I still can't adjust to the fast pace of city life,the hustle and bustle is really difficult to handle, I work extremely hard and try one best to adapt to the lifestyle here,but I don't feel any sense of belonging here,Perhaps It's time to stop floating and go back to where I belong,maybe I'll feel much better with my family around