可适当增加复杂句和从句的使用;文中词汇表达丰富度要加强,同时要注意单词拼写;文章上下文衔接不是很紧凑,结构缺少组织。
it's monday, a busy day, there were crowed pesons in subway in monday moring,so i got out at seven o'clock. I arrived the office at nine, It's busy in monday . I typed letters in my office in the moring, I had lunch at twelve, in the afternoon ,i had a meeting with my collague about the trading.then we had a cup of coffee at half past three. I came home at seven to fifteen,and tired and hungry, I ate some noodles then watched TV in liveingroom. at quarter eleven,I went to bed.