有效地采用了多种衔接方法,层次清晰;作者词汇基础不错,还请增加高级词汇的使用;从句使用量不足,应增加从句和复合句的使用。
Tom will start his school life from this fall. He is not only exciting about it ,but also a little upset. Because his parents make some rules for him. That is I- get up at 6:00,for he must go to school at 6:15. And the rule of don't eat outside let him a little sad because tom is so expected for having rest at Mcdonalds with his friends after school. Further, Don't listen to music on school days, and don't watch TV on school nights, these two rules make tom almost crazy , he loves these so much, but now he cannot enjoy. Finally, the rule of being back home by 12:00 in the morning and by 9:20 in the evening, let him feel that school life is more harder than parents work.