作者应增加文中长句和从句和使用;拼写很棒,可适当增加高级词汇的使用;结构不严谨,行文不流畅。
Sam got up at 6 o'clock yesterday. Then he rode a bicycle to the park, and played extremely happy. He had the lunch with his parents at McDonald's. He played basketball with his classmates from 16:00 to 18:00 in the afternoon. After the dinner, Sam's father bought him a classical music CD when they went for a walk. What a funny day for Sam!